A Story of Illegal Lists
by ElphabaROCKS
Summary: From Ways to Annoy Elphie to How You Know You're an Oz head, this technically illegal story has series of hopefully funny lists in series of oneshots. Humor.
1. How to Get Elphaba Mad at You

**Well, I've finnaly broken down and wrote a list...several of them actually. Enjoy :-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked. Thanks to Mugglenet for the ideas!**

14 Ways to Annoy/Agitate/Get on the Bad Side Of Elphaba

_A non-fail way to get some flying monkies and few curses after you._

1. Send her a small Yorkie with a bright green bow.

2. Ask her if she's feeling sick, because she looks a little green.

3. Invite her to a spa day.

4. Knit her a pink sweater, act offended when she doesn't wear it.

5. Tell her that her cackle is lame and then offer to teach her how to do a real witch laugh.

6. Read her bedtime stories, include 'The Ugly Duckling'.

7. Tell her that broomsticks are so last year and all the best witches now have flying carpets.

8. Constantly talk about how Dorothy is her long-lost sister and make crazy parrells between both of their lives.

9. Spray everything she touches with disinfectant.

10. Decorate her castle with pink, frilly decorations complete with large red hearts and cute pictures of small black dogs.

11. Send her several letters shaped like house silhouettes.

12. Send her several ruby-colored items (such as dreeses, gloves, hair pins, etc.), just no shoes.

13. When she asks why not, say that you thought she would clash with them.

14. Replace all her books with fashion magazines. Mark pages she should "take a look at".

**Reviews are appreciated, I also accept requests!**


	2. Too Much FanFiction!

**Thank you all so very much for your wonderful reviews and requests! Since the world didn't end yesterday like it was supposed to, here it the next list for all my FanFiction Addicts out there...**

You Know You Read Too Much Wicked Fanfiction When...**  
><strong>

_They should have a FFA (FanFiction Anonymous) for this_**_  
><em>**  
>You start writing Fanfictions on other people's multichapters<p>

In your mind, Galinda always calls Fiyero 'Fifi'

You start pairing you friends with Wicked characters

Your only friends ARE Wicked characters

You decide that Morrible/The Rat Waiter would make a cute couple

Nessa didn't die, she performed magic and lived!

...and is now in love with Fiyero!

Boq become de-tinified and gets engaged immediantly to Glinda, who suddenly stops missing Elphaba

Elphaba and Fiyero meet up after Popular, duh!

When you watch Wizard of Oz, you get Wicked Fanfiction ideas.

Galinda never loved Fiyero and is completely allright when he reveals that he is secretly dating Elphaba.

...in fact, she's been dating Boq this whole time!

...who Nessa gave up for an OC!

...who is also a disabled-in-some-way/very short Munchkin

Elphaba has been imprisoned, tortured, then rescued by a brave and dashing Fiyero at least three times

You start wondering when Elphaba gets engaged to Fiyero when you re-see the play.

You start saying things like, "Oh, that movie is rated T" instead of PG-13

Elphaba has a secret hiding place in a tree at Shiz

The only reason you can't wait for the weekend is because your favorite story is being updated

You start quoting Fanfiction stories instead of the play.

You make yourself an OC and put you in the play.

You starts saying "This reminds me of a Fanfiction I read once..."

You are reading lists like this when you should be doing your homework or studying.

**Hope you liked it, reviews and requests are always welcome!**


	3. Horrible Morrible

**So many great suggestions, I can't wait to write them! Thank you all!**

14 Ways To Aggregate Horrible Morrible

_Guaranteed to land you a date with either a thunderstorm or tornado..._

1. Give her a Teddy Bear

2. Change the color of all her dresses to bright turquoise and hot pink

3. Send her a fake Grimmerie from Elphaba

4. Give her dead-fish perfume to 'add to her collection'

5. Ask her if she's related to Barney

6. Tell her that Elphaba didn't really melt

7. Throw her a Cheetah-Girls Themed party

8. Invite her to attend a yoga class with you

9. Whack her on the arm every thirty seconds yelling 'mosquito!'

10. Ask her what her first name is

11. Giggle. Constantly.

12. Charm yourself to look like Elphaba, then follow her around everywhere. Whenever she turns around to catch the Wicked Witch, change back

13. Invite her to a therapy class

14. Send her a million Pro-Animal Phamplets

**Reviews and Suggestions always welcome.**


	4. The Ozheads attack!

**Updating off-schedule. Hey! It's the first day of summer vacation!**

**Alright, this WOULD have been the very last list but, fortunately, you reviewers have been absolutly wonderful to me and I may continue! Yay! *Throws party with green cake and wicked decor***

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything Wicked. It's half Wicked, a quarter Mugglenet (HP) for the idea, and then a quarter imagination.**

You Know You're a Die-Hard Ozhead when…

_Your guide to proving your insanity_

1. You start to wonder what _Morrible's_ side of the story was

2. You can recite the play perfectly and do so in your free time

3. You NEVER miss a Hallmark Channel showing of the Wizard of Oz

4. You either color yourself green or sketch blue diamond on your arm during boring classes

5. Everybody you know can tell you the basic plot and best quotes of Wicked

6. You have an OBC video, you favorite actor's video, a SF soundtrack, and both the CDs all on the same computer

7. You start making crazy comparisons between Wicked and other fandoms

8. You have more than one posters of it up in your room

9. You get really excited everytime a book mentions the Wicked Witch of the West

10. You are now afraid of water

11. …and small black dogs

12. You joined PETA

13. You laugh every time the Scarecrow says something about the Witch because it can ALWAYS be seen in a Fiyerabish, innuendo way

14. You know to look for Fiyero's pants when you see the play

15. You realized that the Princess and the Frog almost exactly copied Wicked (then wished Prince Naveen was Fiyero)

16. You use words like "Sweet Oz" "Sweet Lurline" and "Oh My Oz!" out in public

17. Fiyero is your fictional boyfriend (or Elphaba/Galinda, your girlfriend)

18. You recite spells towards evil teachers and cars that cut you off

19. You have a broomstick in your closet

bought boots just so you could be like Elphaba

21. You often dress up LIKE Elphaba, even to school (Areyoufeelingwicked!)

22. You make the RENT-heads look sane!

**All reviewers are welcome to the party I threw in my earlier author's note. Suggestions are welcome and appreciated!**


	5. DormbeClean!

**Thanks to SmileYou'reWICKED for the list idea! Some of the suggestions have already been done by me by sheer coincidence (I would have given you credit if I stole the idea-honest! But what can I say? Great minds think alike!). Thank you all so very much for the input, I didn't think I was that funny!**

Galinda's 12 Dorm Room Cleaning Tips

_Besides Pinkpinkpinkpinkpink..._

1. The most important thing is that all your shoes should be arranged from lightest pink to darkest, or whatever color you have

2. Make-up should be stored in its proper place at all times for easy access

3. Underneath the bed is a good place to store things. The maids can get it later!

4. Bunny slippers should be replaced before leaving for the next morning's feet comfort

5. If there are too many flower given to you by admirers, green roommates will take some of the darker red ones

6. A layer of glitter makes everything sparkle and livens up a room

7. "Hocus Pocus" does not work in room cleaning

8. …neither does "Alakazam"

9. …nor "You #*% wand!"

10. …actually, just get Elphaba to do any magic

11. The mirror _must_ be polished, it is _top_ priority

12. Don't touch Elphaba's stuff unless being a toad is the new style

**Reviews/Comments/Suggestions/Why-in-the-world-are-you-writing-this'es/You-mud-splatting-pig-nosed-porcupine'es are welcome as always. Thank you so much!**


	6. Darlingust Fifi

**Hello there! Sorry for not posting *cowers* Busy summer so far. Anyway, here all you are...**

**Thanks to oO Gabgalrox Oo for the idea!**

**14 ways to get Fiyero mad at you**

_A definite way to get a pair of flying tight-white-pants after you_

1. Send a bunch of Crows after him.

2. Invite him to a Bonfire.

3. Steal his hair gel.

4. Take him to a Lollipop Guild Concert.

5. Tell the fangirls where to find him.

6. Ask him what happened to his tattoos.

7. Give him a dictionary.

8. Call him "Fifi"

9. Or if you're really daring, call him "Darlingust Fifi Poochie Little Poof Poof"

10. When standing next to him, tap him on the opposite shoulder. When he looks and sees noone there, laugh.

11. If he ever asks you for directions, say "That way looks nice, but you could also go that way. Of course some people do go both ways…"

12. Tell him he's fictional.

13. Push Elphaba off a cliff without her broom.

14. Tell Galinda that he _loves_ to shop.

**Honestly, this one was the funnest to write so far. Please review.**


	7. FF Advice

**I'm so sorry! I got on a book-reading spree and once I start a book, I don't stop until I'm finished (thank goodness for summers). It's LOTR too, which is 900 pages total small print. At least it's not Les Miserables... (1200 pages)**

**Anyway, sorry and here you are.**

**Thanks to my wonderful penpal for unintentionally giving me this idea! I don't own Wicked.**

**Some of these you might or might not get depending on how much you've read in this fandom**

**6 Things to know when Writing or Reading in the Wicked Fandom**

_Some very good advice._

1. When references to the 'Land that Might Have Been" are made, it means the Fiyeraba section, know on other fandoms as the M rated section

2. Boq's last name is Riddle

3. If deeplyshallow posts a humor story, read it.

4. Warning though; you'll probably end up obsessed with another MLIA/DBPB site

5. If you go see Wicked, these things must be mentioned in you authors note;

...a. Your favorite actor

...b. Morrible's makeup amount

...c. Fiyero's Pants

6. Reviews are **ALWAYS** welcome/funny/romantic/halarious/sweet/anything else AYFW can describe them as in her parodies

**I could only think of six for this one, but suggestions to add onto it are welcome. If I get enough, I'll post another chapter of it continued :-)**


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